Obviously no one here will know all of the answers to everything you are dealing with, and no one of us can relate to everything. But I believe that in everyone that follows your blog there have to be a few of us that can each relate to some part of what you’re going through.
In relation to your thoughts and sorrows for the tragedies at Sandy Hook this week, I believe we all feel sadness for the what took place. Others will find this closer to the heart than I can possibly imagine, and I grieve for the families who have lost loved ones. Please know, however, that each day you go on being better than the terrible things that occurred, you are honoring the memories of those that were lost. While some have used this tragedy as grounds for political movement, you can silence them and ask that they instead respect a time of grievance. With every person that you influence positively, you work towards preventing someone else from falling down the path that led to these events.
School. I think this may be the topic I can best relate to. Four years ago today I had finished my first semester of college with something like 3 D’s and 2 F’s. I lost my scholarship after the following semester. I graduated 3 years later after taking summer courses and intersessions nearly every chance afterward. I don’t know exactly what your situation is, but I can tell you that even if you do terrible one semester, it is possible for things to turn around.
I can’t say much in relation to family. I’ve been lucky enough to have a mother strong enough to hold us together during even the worst of times. We all have our moments. The best we can do is to just stay positive and try to make things better ourselves. Every family needs a rock to lean on, a mediator, a glue to keep them together. You can be that person.
When it comes to significant others and worries of wasted time, the best you can do is to make the best of the time you haven’t already wasted. Do yourself the favor of trying to be a better person for you. Find things you feel strongly about, and do your best to make them happen. When you are happy with yourself and your life, others will be more likely to want to be part of it.
I have just come out of a long period of depression that I refused to see or seek help for. For the last four years I struggled just to graduate, I had my apartment broken into and things stolen twice, I’ve had a car break down on me nearly every 3 months, I’ve taken loved ones for granted, and missed out on some of the deepest feelings I’ve ever had for another person because I was blinded by my own problems. I’m 23, and I wish I could go back and fix some of those things. Wish I could have tried harder, or tried at all sometimes.
I don’t mean to try to one up you, just trying to relate in the best way I can. I can tell you that despite all the bad, things did get better for me, as I hope they do for you. I graduated. I got a job. I got a new car. I’ve made new friends. Please don’t ever feel hopeless. I don’t know you or your problems, but to see someone else feel some of the same things I thought in my head hurts. It’s hard sometimes to be optimistic, but when it comes down to it, some part of it is the choice to do so.
I want to thank you for your blatant honesty, because it gave me a chance to try to be a better person and help someone I don’t know in whatever way I can. If you need to vent, I’m sure there are others as well as myself who wouldn’t mind listening. Just let us know.
Good luck, you’re not alone.